Archive | March 2014

My Pregnancy Week 25

I haven’t really posted anything about this pregnancy. I have a tendency to not talk about it until I’m at least at the midway point. Everything has been going well with the pregnancy so I feel there’s nothing really to talk about. lol I had a little morning sickness but that didn’t last long. Got my energy back after the morning sickness past, and now I’m hitting the “can’t bend over and breath at the same time” stage. This stage came REALLY early this time. I also feel like I’m much bigger then I should be right now. Looking back at pictures of my last pregnancy, I’m as big as I was at 32 weeks!

When my midwife was here last she measured me high. 26 when I should have been around 20. I decided to go in for an ultrasound to see if it was twins because it was driving me crazy. They only found one. however, looking at me you’d think they missed one. Or are my friend said, “at least one!” lol So,with all that said, I’m still not sure what I’m having. If I wasn’t SO big and already feeling like I’m nearing the end of my pregnancy, but still only 25 weeks, I wouldn’t be second guessing the ultrasound.

I don’t know why I can’t let it go. It could be because from the day I found out I was pregnant I knew it was twins. I can’t explain it. I’ve just always believed it to be true. No proof of this thinking, just a hunch. Something I’ve never had in any of my pregnancies. I’ve never been certain of anything during the pregnancies and have never had that intuition that some get during their pregnancies. So, maybe I’m delusional. Who knows. But we’ll find out soon enough.

Wither it’s one or two babies in there I’m excited and blessed to be having another child. Here are some belly pics for ya. Don’t get scared of the bare skinned ones. Working on leaving my comfort zone. haha I may not have one of those cute belly bumps but I love my bump mountain just the same! Oh, and all those stretch marks you see, Mara, my first baby, gave me every last one of them. The stink.
Week 25

 

week 25

 

week  25

 

week.25

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Random thoughts of life right now

Life has been a little crazy lately. Dean finally had surgery, and should be home on Monday. I’ve been home with Lizzeth for the last few days, while the other kids have been with family until this weekend. I cried for the first time today. It had been awhile sense I’ve had a good cry. I feel broken and lonely not having Dean home. The stress of this past year waiting for Dean to have surgery has been draining, but now I feel more drained now that he’s had the surgery. Funny how that is. I miss the kids but it’s been nice to have a moment to breath. It’s too quiet in the house. When Dean gets home he will have a weight restriction of no more than 15 lbs for the next 6 months! We were not expecting such a long time on that. He’ll be in bed for the next month or so, and then we’ll be moving.

We still have no leads on a house. We’ve had a few leads along the way but everything has fallen through. Frankly, I’m scared out of my mind. I normally don’t let myself feel it most of the time, but I guess in all the quiet it’s crept back. With Dean is such a fragile state right now and still have no place to live, I’m pretty much at my end. I know God has a plan but when God doesn’t shine any light on His plan you can go pretty batty in the waiting. God has given us peace along the way and definite signs that He’s looking out for us, but when you get hit with total despair it’s hard deal with anything, good or bad. Just endless feeling of hopelessness and fear.

So, in the waiting we are taking a break from school, packing and putting everything we can in storage, and try to act normal in public. It’s a good thing we don’t get out much because putting on a happy face is getting harder and harder to do.

Here are a few songs that have been helpful to me lately. Pandora and youtube have been very helpful to tune out the ugly thoughts and keep me focused on God.