You Finally Have You’re Baby, But Noone Told You THIS Was Going To Happen

I just found this post and it clearly was never published, so I’m posting it now.

After every child there are a few things that happen to your body. Things that I always forget until I’m going though it once again. Some of them make me laugh while others leave me shaking my head asking myself “why” does my body have to do this!? These are things that NOONE tells you about. You hear plenty of “oh you’re never going to sleep again,” or how labor is so scary and painful. Here are a few things that you may not think of happening after you have a baby…but they do. Warning: TMI ahead…

1. Headaches. Massive headaches!

2. Itching. My last few post births have left me so itchy. Calm down, not down there! lol My lower abdomen. I don’t know if it’s the extra skin or hormones, or both, but my skin gets so unbearably itching I feel like I could scratch my skin off. I looked into this and found it’s a common thing. Itching in the lower abdoman or ankles seem to be the places of most discomfort. From what I have found NOTHING fixes this but time. OMGosh! Time? This blows! Three to six weeks seems to be the time frame that most women have this little problem.

3. You will rune at least one nice pair of comfy pants/jeans. As soon as you think it’s safe to get into some nicer clothes, you will bleed out like a stuck pig one last time…just for fun…

4. Give into the diapers. Not the cute little ones you’re sweet baby wares, the ones YOU get to ware. lol They may not be all that comfortable but they may save you those comfy pants. Promise!

5. You’re boobs will become rocks for several days, maybe even up to a couple of weeks.

6. Nursing hurts a whole freaking lot! The first two to 8 weeks are not like they show on TV where baby and mother are all sweetly bundled up with happy faces of bliss. Oh no! Cracked nipples, sharp stabbing pains through your whole body every time baby latches on, tears and cringing until your nipple has finally softened in your baby’s mouth…yeah, that’s the real picture. Don’t get me wrong, there is joy in nursing, I love it and wouldn’t have it any other way, and those moments of happiness are there, but those first few weeks are rough. If you chose to nurse, know that it doesn’t hurt forever.  “Bliss” does come, it just takes time. So hang in there, fight through the pain, and love you’re little one through the discomfort.

7. You will become cross-eyed, drooling, stupid tired. Unless you are blessed with a baby that sleeps through the night from day one, you will come to a point where you truly think you are going crazy from exhaustion.

It’s been 8 months sense I started this post and found it wasn’t finished. I’m not sure if I had more things on my list but this is what I had written down.

What crazy things happened to your body that you were not prepared for?


3 thoughts on “You Finally Have You’re Baby, But Noone Told You THIS Was Going To Happen

  1. losing hair. Gobs and gobs of hair! Hairballs showing up all over the floor. You look down and see a darkish spot in the carpet and get closer to find that it’s a hairball. Hair is falling out all over the house, the family walks around, kicking it into neat little balls. I usually pick up about 5 hairballs every few days. Hair is all down my shirt. Hairballs come out of the dryer. I go to nurse the baby and grab a hairball from my bra. I go to the bathroom and there’s a hairball in my butt. LOL Sofa king glamorous!

    • I totally forgot about the hair loss. It drives me crazy too. Every time I shower I think I pull a cat off my head. haha Do you know what that stops? It’s been 8 months for me and it’s still falling out?

  2. For me, it was the night sweats. I would wake up shivering and drenched (TMI?) for the first few weeks after Eli was born. It was the strangest thing and a bit frustrating, because I couldn’t do a thing about it besides dress in layers and change clothes in the middle of the night. Weird.

    Oh, and the bleeding… and roller coaster hormones and emotions. Okay, there were a lot of things I didn’t know about postpartum life! Hopefully I’ll be a little less naive for future babies!

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