Archive | July 2013

Running Recap (July 22-28th) and completing more goals!

This week has been very good. On Monday, after almost two weeks off, I went for a run and it was wonderful.  I thought it was going to be really hard but it turns out I’m in much better shape then I thought. It was very encouraging after having a couple emotional weeks of running and feeling like my body was out to get me. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday were all walk/run days and they were all great. I felt light and strong and the three mile runs all seemed pretty easy.

Saturday I did not do my long run because I was feeling lazy and tired. Friday the kids and I went to a friends place for a cookout and got home late. Saturday we were all up early and headed out for another get together about an hour from our place. By the time we got home I was so tired I crashed on the couch for an hour but couldn’t really wake up the rest of the night.

So, with that said, I still have 7.5 miles to run today. Once the kids are fed and I’ve had my coffee I will be out the door for my longest run to date. In my 4 years of running off and on I’ve never run more then 6 miles. I’m nervous and excited to see if I’ll be able to do this. My 3 mile runs have gotten pretty easy. This is really encouraging but it’s my comfort zone. I am now at the point in my training that every week will pull me a little bit farther out of that zone and I don’t care for that. haha Well, here I go…..

I did it! My legs hurt and my feet throb like crazy but I met my goal! My almost 9 year old biked along with me and even joined me in running for about a mile and a half. I kept a good pace, for me that is, 4.7-5 miles per hour. It wasn’t until the last mile and a half to two miles that I started to slow down. I got a side stitch that I ran with the last couple miles too which was not fun. I slowed down to about 4 miles an hour at that point. I was also able to hold a conversation with my son most of the time which tells me my lungs are getting stronger. Yea! Dean met up with us a few miles from home and cheered me on which was nice. I really needed it toward the end. My time…1:35.40! I’m very happy with that time. Goals met. I did my 10K and 12K at the same time.

What are your running plans for the coming week?

This is how my last week looked. Only 7 weeks of training left! Eek!

Monday-walk/run 3 miles

Tuesday-walk/run 3 miles

Thursday-walk/run 3 miles

Sunday-7.5miles

Total miles: 16.5 miles

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Summer Break is Almost Here

Four days until our summer break starts! I’m just as ready as the kids for the break. We have taken more days off these last three months then I had planned but holidays and nice weather can do that to a homeschool family. I’m ok with that.

It’s funny, we are finishing up our sixth year and I still don’t feel like I have this down. Maybe I never will and that’s totally normal. I don’t know. The new challenge I faced this year was incorporating Kurtis, Wyatt, and Tirzah into the school day. Kurtis is the only one I feel really needs to start “school” while the others still are in the pre school playing kinda thing. However, THEY are not ok with that so they are asking everyday to do school. I LOVE that they want to be learning with the others but they are stuck at the moment. There are at a point were they want to learn but their mind is not letting anymore info in and their hand eye coordination has not developed. Leaving them feeling frustrated and left out. This has made for some frustrating days. I don’t stressed over this anymore, as they are only 4 and 5.

I have stressed about this in the past though. Mostly when I start reading other homeschool blogs and they talk about how their 3 year old is reading on their own (self taught of course), knows how to point out everything on  globe, can write complete sentences, and is doing 5th grade math. I know I’m not suppose to compare, but when all you read is how other homeschool kids are so much more advanced you feel like you are failing your kids because so-and-so is doing this and that.

This is when I have to remind myself of a few things. 1. Is this an only child? It’s not uncommon for a family to really take off with their education if there is only one or two kids. They have A LOT of time to focus on the kids. 2. Maybe that child is gifted and the parent wants to put a good spin on how great homeschooling is so they talk about their one out of ten kids that is gifted making it look like all the kids are super brainiacs, when in truth the rest of the kids are right on track for their grade level. ( I know how this can be tempting as we have a gifted 8 year old…But I will brag about him another time.)  🙂 3. Maybe they are lying. Yes I went there. As homeschoolers we have a lot of outside pressure to be perfect. One of the first things people think of when they hear “homeschooling” is super smart kids. This really bugs me. Just because people homeschool does not mean all their kids are running at genius levels. Even being at a normal level can be looked down on in the homeschool world.

We have already done quite a bit this summer. Nothing super fancy, but we have hosted a couple of get togethers and have gone to a couple family events. Between the 4th of July and birthday parties we’re ready for a break…from everything. lol We have a couple more events to attend today and tomorrow and then we are staying home for awhile.

Plans for the month of August? Not sure yet. I’m hoping for a whole lot of nothing. I’ll have to take a week to get fall classes prepped but other then that I don’t think anything is on the calendar. The kids will complain they are bored, Dean will be doing more resting, (still waiting on surgery) and I’ll be kicking my half marathon training into high gear. We hope to have some families over during the month but we have decided to stop hosting big events. We always have a crummy turn out and I put a lot of work into them only to be disappointed that on one shows up. This is not to say I wouldn’t put a lot of effort into those friends and family that have shown up, but when you plan for 40 and 4 show up, yeah, that’s a disappointment.

So, for the next month we are simply going to enjoy each other and find things to do around the house. No commitments for the next month.

What do you have planned for the last month of summer?

Q and A with my Midwife

Lizzeth just a few hours old.

Lizzeth just a few hours old.

Look what I found! Oh goodness. I thought I had posted this one. I know it’s a bit late but there is good stuff in here so I’m posting it regardless. Enjoy!

After talking to friends and family about our decision to work with a midwife and have this baby at home, I’ve realized words like “home birth” and “midwife” raise a lot of concerns in most people. When I mention our plans, I can almost see the scene unfold in their mind. They picture me giving birth in a barn, the midwife going from delivering a calf to delivering my baby, and shoving a piece of rope in my mouth to bite down on when the contractions get really bad.

I appreciate the concerns people have, but most of the questions I’ve been asked don’t apply only to a midwife. They apply to any birthing choice. I wonder how many people ask their doctor these kinds of questions to make sure they’re qualified, or the situation is considered safe.

I’ve taken most of the questions I’ve been asked these 9 months and gave them to my midwife and asked if she’d be so kind as to answer them in her “spare Time”. I thought it would be fun to get her take on these, and hopefully put some people’s minds at ease.

1.How long have you been a midwife?
Almost 15 years ( a few months shy).
2.What kind of training do you receive to become a midwife?
The training that each midwife received, depends on the level their state requires, or if there are no strict requirements, the level the midwife chooses to go to. There are many different types of midwives,from direct entry all the way up to a CNM (Certified Nurse Midwife).
3.How many baby’s have you delivered?
300 at this point 🙂
4.How many sets of twins of you delieved? I have helped with 1 set of twins at home, but have been involved with the pregnancies & births of several others. Most of the ones that did not deliver at home were because of coming too early, so it was not safe to stay home.

5.How many breach? And how do you handle a breech baby? Three. Keep my hands off & stay calm!

6.How many times have you had to send women to the hospital during labor?
Thirteen.
7.Have you ever lost any babies or mothers?
Unfortunately yes on babies; 1 during my apprenticeship which was a still birth.
8.Have there ever been any complications?
Here is where I ask, ‘what do you consider a comlication?’ And what would YOU consider a complication? deviations from normal include ~Hemmorrhage, breech, twins, placenta abruption (letting go too soon) or previa (coming first/covering the cervix), etc.
9.What is the protocol if complications come up?
It totally depends on the complication, our distance from a hospital, if an ambulance is quicker, weather (we DO live in NW MN!!), etc.
10.What do you do if someone becomes dietetic during pregnancy? How do you know if this happens?
Testing, mom’s history, how she eats currently.
11.Why do you only do the urine sample test but no other tests?
We do other testing on a case by case basis, as needed & indicated.
12.If someone was interested in having a midwife but still was on the fence with it, what would you tell them to help them “make a decision?”
Watch the video “Business of Being Born” & feel free to contact me with any questions. 🙂
13.Are baby and myself safe in your care?
I certainly have your safety in mind & do my best to protect the health of mother & baby.
14.How do you monitor baby for low blood sugars for the first 24-48 hours? (with this question I wasn’t sure if she was talking about baby or mothers blood sugar) I am assuming she means baby???
Watching baby’s eating patterns, temperature, sleepiness, breathing.
15.How long do you stay with mother and baby after delivery?
Minimum of 2 hours, usually more like 3-4. There are several things that have to be ok before I leave. If there are ANY concerns I stay longer!
16.When do you check in with them after delivery?
Minimum visits are at 24 hrs, 2 weeks, & 6 weeks; with additional ones based on how mom & baby are doing. Available via phone 24/7.
17.What is the most difficult delivery you’ve handled?
Shoulder dystocia, followed by baby who needed resusitation, then hemorrhage of mom. I was thankful to have several helpers at that one!
18.What strength training exercises help with labor?
Squatting is probably the best one. Walking, swimming, & biking are also good.
19.What would you do if you feel it’s time to go to the hospital but the mother insists on staying home?
I will do my best to encourage mom to go, but the decision is ultimately the parents.

20.What do you think the number one misconception about midwifery/homebirthing is?

That it is dangerous.

If you have any other questions after reading this please feel free to ask. I know Rebekah will answer anythign other questions that come up.

Running Recap (July 15-21st) and Other Things

Well, I didn’t run when I said I was going to. 😦 I ended up taking the whole time off  with today being my last rest day. I have had a ray of mixed feelings over the last week and a half. I have enjoyed the break but I have also hated it.

I loved not getting up at the butt crack of dawn to run half a sleep. I have loved not having the birds fly over my head giving me warning chirps of an impending attack, yes, this happens EVERY morning. If I run during the day or with others they do not do this. I hate birds and they hate me.

I hate that laziness sets in so fast. I did nothing for the last week and a half…NOTHING. I hate that every other day I have hurt myself in one way or another to the point I thought it would set my running back even farther. I have never been accident prone but this last week I have been getting to know what it’s like for those poop people. I hate how my eating has gotten completely out of control. With that follows depression, loneliness, and despair.  I have been in self destruct mode. *Eat everything in sight, keeping it down and gaining weight because I’m a total loser… mode.*

I need to reset this week, but I’m so down on myself I know I’ll make an awesome plan, than totally not follow it at all. Making me feel worse than I already do…Not that I was working my last plan all that well, but it was better than what I’ve been doing as of late.

So, plan for resetting: Make a meal plan and stick to it! Ease back into running and try and figure out how to add in those extra miles that I lost. Not freak out that I’m 3 weeks behind schedule or that I have gained weight and that this month has been a total lose and I now hate the month of July.

Despite my crappy month, how has your July been going?

How do you reset when your plans completely fall apart?

 

Field Trip and Cow Eyes!

IMG_1091 IMG_1095 A couple years ago I had an eye checkup and had talked to our Dr. about maybe doing a field trip with the kids to learn about our eyes. Dr. Zipprich thought is was a wonderful idea and told me she would look at getting some cow eyes to dissect and she’d let me know when she got her hands on some. Shortly after she got the cow eyes she lost my number and couldn’t remember which family she had talked to.

Fast forward to out next eye exam and we got to talking about that field trip again. Come to find out she had put the eyes in her freezer in hopes of figuring out who she had talked to about it, and she still had them!

We finally got to get together and the kids had a blast…  Thank you Dr. Zipprich for taking time out of your weekend to teach us!IMG_1106

Cow eyes!

Cow eyes!

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While the other kids play with eye ball goop Zeth plays with Dean's sandals.

While the other kids play with eye ball goop Zeth plays with Dean’s sandals.

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Inside of the cow eye.

Inside of the cow eye.

Very back of the cow eye.

Very back of the cow eye.

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Vitreous gel. This is what holds the shape of the eye ball.

Vitreous gel. This is what holds the shape of the eye ball.

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Lens

Lens

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All of us in a very tiny room.

All of us in a very tiny room.

Dr. Zipprich and the kids.

Dr. Zipprich and the kids.

Dr. Zipprich and the kids.

Dr. Zipprich and the kids.

Running Recap (July 8-13th)

This week has been worse than the last. Monday my run went well, Tuesday, I rolled my ankle. I knew I was going to have to take an extra day or so off for my ankle to heal but not a week or more. Wednesday my low back started hurting, like a pinched nerve kind of hurt.

I made an appointment for the following day but by then I could hardly walk. It was horrible. I couldn’t straighten up at all and I’d get random sharp stabbing pains in my back and down my left leg. I even went into Urgent Care to see if there was anything else going on and to get some pain meds. Dr. thinks it was just from rolling my ankle and that torked my low back. No running for a week or two, depending on the pain I have.

The good news, the pain is gone. The bad news, after taking so many days off I don’t want to run. This happens to me any time I take several days off in a row. I get lazy. Getting up at 5am is NOT my cup of tea…at all! I long for the cooler days when I can run anytime of the day that I feel like, not be forced to run in a short time frame in the early morning. It kinda makes me crabby.

My plan is to get up early tomorrow and go for a 3 mile walk/run and see if I have any pain once I actually am active. I’ll cut it short if any pain comes back at all. I’m not going to risk my whole training. However, I feel so behind in my training that I feel like I won’t be ready for my half in September. I already had to slow down from my shin splint and now this. I’m behind by about 3/4 weeks and this really stresses me out.

At this point I was suppose to be adding a mile on every week. My blank and white personality wants to say F-it. You already screwed up so you’re done. I don’t know how I can be ready in time now. I’m very overwhelmed by this and don’t know how to make it work. I want to quit, but I don’t. I really hate this feeling.

Maybe I’m just moody. I don’t know. The hot weather really pisses me off. We have no AC so the house is in the 80s ALL. DAY. LONG…and it doesn’t cool off much over night. Also, I just got up to get something and the pain is back in my back. So much for my “good news.” GRRR!

So, to my running buddies, how do I get back on track with my training once I can start running again? I’m not sure if I’ll be able to ease back in this week or have to take the week off at this point.

 

Freedom From Rejection and Moving On With My Life

Part of the gangI have been this turtle, all my life. I have never been good at fitting in. For most of my life, it didn’t bother me. I had a couple of good friends, or so I thought, in high school, but junior year we went our separate ways.

My junior/senior year was spent with Dean, got pregnant, married, had a baby, and started our little life before the year was out. But as for friends, girl friends, they were gone. Some had moved away, others were just not around because we were “school friends” but not really friends, and I had a falling out with my best friend my sophomore year.

Dean and I got our own place and we were happy in our little bubble of a life. I had connected with a couple people over the first 5 years of our marriage but for the most part I didn’t know I was “missing out” on friendships.

At this point in our life, we still hadn’t found a church. We also were not in a rush to find one. Dean was working and had been connecting with someone and he had invited us to the church he attended. We finally went and we thought we found the church for us. Shortly after we started going the church split and we went with the group that was branching off. We though we had found a good “church family” and tried to get connected as best as two introverts could. While going to church I kept hearing about all these friendships and how church family is so great and important to have. I got excited. Friends? It had been so long.

Over the past 6 years we have still called this place our home church, but sadly we still do not feel like we fit in. I won’t speak for Dean with this but I have felt like this turtle the last 6 years. It has been a heart breaking 6 years. I have tried to connect with people really any way I can. I have bent over backwards, changed my likes and dislikes to fit in, and volunteered when I was burnt out on life.

When I first saw this picture I broke down. For the first time I was able to put my pain and tears into words. I have just wanted to fit in and I have been pushed out everywhere I go. I’m tired of trying to fit in. I’m done. I’m done with one-sided friends, I’m done with fake friends, I’m done with trying to fit into a group of people that has very clearly not wanted me from the start.

This has been a painful but freeing revelation. Why? Why have I put myself through this heartache? I have let rejection rule over my for years. I have been in a state of friendship insanity. I try to fit in, I change to try to fit in, I don’t change to try and fit in, I change to fit in….end result, still don’t fit in. I m not wanted there and I’m becoming ok with this.

There have been a couple awesome women that look past the “grown up clinks” and have loved me for me, and I haven’t had to change! They invite me places, include me, and truly want to have a friendship with me. You ladies, you have no idea what your friendship means to me. Thank you! There have also been a few flickerings of maybe a friendship in the future and I’m still willing to work on those and maybe something will come of them. As for everyone else, I will not try anymore. I will give my “Sunday smile” and exchange pleasantries, but that’s as far I go. I’m done with feeling your rejections. I’m going to hang on to the ones I have and walk away from the rest. The light bulb finally came on. I will stop being your turtle.