Have you ever said something to your child only to pause a moment later and ask yourself why on earth you said that? Or better yet, why you even had to say it? Over the years we have said some pretty crazy and funny things to our kids and I’d like to share some of them with you. I hope you get a chuckle out of them like we have!
Dang it! Get out of my butt!
Will you stop licking that?
Stop playing with my bra!
Shut up. I’m trying to read…the bible
Will you please finish your processed meat sticks?
Stop peeing on the cat!
Stop rubbing you butt on him/her.
Go walk your brother.
Stop smelling your brothers butt.
Those are not whistles, they’re tampons.
No, you are not going to go skunk hunting with your homemade spear. No, the BB gun won’t do it either.
If you keep playing with “that” it’s going to fall off.
I really need you to stop rubbing your face on my leg, it’s weird.
You are getting to old to wear dresses, please start wearing your own clothes now. – to my boys
I had a boy who went through a running onto the road stage. I finally told him one day as he gave me “the look” that if he went on the road and got hit I wasn’t cleaning up his mess. this was at church, in front of lots of people. He has never ran onto the road again.
My three your old has been wanting to know why my chest is big and hers is flat. I’ve given her some basics about how the body works but she wasn’t content with those answers. Finally after being asked for the sixth or seventh time I told her “Jelly beans dear, my chest is big because they are filled with jelly beans.” She gave me a funny look, giggled, and has not asked me sence.
Get your finger out of my nose, pick your own.
No thanks, you can eat your own boogers, I’m full.
If he picks on you again, punch him.
You can climb the tree but if you get stuck, you are there tell dad gets home to get you out.
Pull his hair and he’ll leave you alone.
Will you stop sitting on her face?!
I know there are many more we’ve said but these are the ones that came to mind at the moment. What are some of the funny things you’ve said to your kids?